Thursday, March 8, 2012

Less than Normal

Long time no blog!  Its been pretty hectic lately in our lives.  I've been busy with the girls & family time ... really trying to make the most out of the time that we're all home & together.  It just hit me this morning that Mailyna's surgery is only a few hours away...  What makes me feel horrible is that I'm not panicking out of control like I did the first time.  It makes me feel like I'm a bad parent for not constantly dwelling on her condition & all of the factors surrounding it.  A part of me is in denial until they wheel her away... the other part of me is so "matter of fact" because I know its what we have to do & there is no way around it.  I know tomorrow, I'll probably be a hot mess once she goes in.  But anytime Mailyna looks into my eyes, all she needs to see is trust & strength to know that I'm there & that I have complete faith that shes safe in the doctors hands.

I've had a few people get super panicked & filled w/ concern when I tell them, and I completely understand the reaction.  That's the normal reaction.  They aren't living our life.  They don't know the back story, or the complications we've faced... so its hard to relate.  If anything, all Mailyna needs is a little comfort.

The other day, I asked if anyone wanted to send over a little card for Mims, to give her some encouragement.  Its pretty amazing, at any age, to have someone wish you well & brighten your day when you're feeling scared or helpless.  Our lives are so hectic & complicated, and slowing down is the last thing you want to do... but finding that time & the goodness in someone elses heart when they take that time to sit down & literally make a child smile, that is something that makes my heart soar.  It seriously brings me to tears when her sad little face lights up from the love & support our family & friends provide.

I originally wanted to have her blog tonight after we get to the hospital, but I might do something a little bit different.  It depends on how she's feeling, how my internet connection is & how much power I have with my laptop.  Either way, you can expect to hear from us later today.  Thank you again to everyone in our lives.  Without your support, days like tomorrow would be a lot harder to face.

xo, Mia


  1. Miss Mia & Mimi...
    As time passes and I learn more about your families trials & tribulations it becomes a double edge sword for me. On one hand I'm sad to see the both of you go through this disease - I question why & how - it's not fair...but on the both inspire me. The inner strength you display - the courage, will serve as an example for many of us I'm sure. I'm so proud to bare witness and I will keep you in my prayers always...
    Love, Uncle Al

  2. I know what you mean about feeling bad for not panicking but don't. I've been doing it for 17 years and for us moms it's our own coping mechanism. We've gained strength at the most trying moments. It's what our kids need so we adapt. You may find though...that when no one is looking and all is done...your defense is broken down and you let it all out. Perfectly normal. Hugs!